Today I am going to reveal a secret of getting better at talking with people. Socially engagement is a big concern for many in this new world of technology. So, let’s start with it.
You Are Not Born Socially Handicapped
The first thing you need to understand about yourself is that you are not Born Socially Handicapped. We, humans, are very social so much in fact that if you take a baby and put him/her in a room full of people and only through mere observation he/ she will learn to speak with time. No one needs to go to him/her again and again and tell Hey! That’s a car, you don’t have to do any of that. If you just go through your daily activities the baby is capable of learning your language by pure observation. The above example shows that observation is the key to improve your social life. Truly speaking, the more you observe the more you will learn about how people react when you talk with them. With time you will learn how to handle awkward situations with ease. This is because the human brain is actually extremely good at identifying patterns and rules when it comes to social interactions which are basically what a language is if you think about it.
Patterns and Rules
It’s not that you are born Socially inactive/Handicapped. The reason your social skills are not that great is simply that you haven’t given your brain enough time to observe interactions and become fluent in all of the patterns and rules. In short, you lack practice and for the most part, it’s not really your fault. Because if you think about it, 8n this technological world, we spend the large majority of our behind screen instead of interacting with each other. And It’s only getting worse and worse with every generation.
Reduce Screen Time
About 7-8 years back the children get smartphones after completion of their secondary education so that they can focus on study and can build their personalities. But if you see now, it’s much more complicated than it seems to be. Nowadays most of the kids get their first smartphone before 10 years of age. And we all know that it doesn’t take much skill or practice to accept the friend request or send someone a message. What we do is simply use emojis to communicate with each other. But it’s really really different from actually talking to someone in real life. When you are texting there are hundreds of little components that are invisible, hundreds of little patterns and rules that your brain is not able to observe about the other person. For example things like their body language, facial expressions, tonality, speed of talking, proximity, eye contact, etc. Let’s discuss them in detail.
Body language tells a lot about the person. If you talk to someone via text messages then you don’t know whether he/ she is interested in talking. One can differentiate and observe between texting and talking to the same person in reality.
Facial expressions say a lot about the current mood of a person and can only be visible if we talk face to face instead of texting. So, observing facial expressions will help you to get engaged socially.
The main reason why people feel insecure while talking to someone is that they are unable to make eye contact. A text message will fade this opportunity of analyzing yourself. You should try to make eye contact every time you talk with someone. Also, take this as a challenge and spend more time conversing in real rather than texting and observe different people what they do while talking.
Speed of talking
Depending on different situations the speed of talking comes into play. How a person talks and explains their points matters the most in social life. A pure observation and understanding rules And patters will teach you at what speed to have to talk.
At what distance you are speaking will have different combinations of each component like facial expressions, talking speed, etc. The observation can only be seen in reality instead of texting with emojis.
Why social skills aren’t that great?
These are all components that you have to pay attention to when talking to someone in real life. If you wanna make friends. But Al of these factors is completely missing when you text or message someone. In a way, talking to people in real life is a completely different language. The reason why your social skills are not that great and why you feel nervous about meeting new people is simply that you haven’t given your brain enough time to properly this language. The fluency in talking but barely passing talking is because of this. The secret to talking to people was to learn any language is to simply get more practice to interact with people, to give your brain more opportunities to observe and learn the unique patters and rules of this language. By now you get a crate picture of what I’m trying to say and convey you. Now you might be wondering what it does makes sense but how do I get more practice.
Socially Conscious: Overview
So, here some points which you can apply in your life to get a clearer understanding. You can take up challenges to improve your skills. Basically you have a capacity to interact with hundred people and it really doesn’t matter how deep their interactions are. Only doing formal hey and then ran away will also be counted as interaction. The majority of actions during this challenge involves asking people for directions while pretending that your phone died and you lost. Although these interactions seem very simple on surface-level eventually you will find yourself transitioning into deeper conversations. And thus actually lead to a whole lot of practice to brains. And you will see a pretty significant boost in your social skills by the time challenge is completed/over. For more watch videos because it will really be helpful to watch others doing. With practice, you will eventually learn the patterns and rules of what is inappropriate and appropriate. And automatically develop a clear understanding of how to get socially involved.